I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
