I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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