In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
