ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
