Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
