Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
