i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
