i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
