We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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