they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
