don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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