Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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