Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
