But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I don't want my vagina anymore.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
