Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
