I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Come see our sink grown plant.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
