so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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