Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
