I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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