I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
