I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
