I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so that wasnt chicken after all
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Shitshow foam night was such a success
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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