well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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