I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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