i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
