I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
