"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
is that a dick in a sweater?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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