So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
