i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
its not stalking. its research.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
