I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
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