the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
