Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
