I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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