I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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