I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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