Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize