he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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