shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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