For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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