She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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