Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Randomize
