we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
