i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
