road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
