Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick

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(217): View more from Illinois

The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

come over

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.

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