Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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