HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
