The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
