I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
