Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
