Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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