Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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