I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
