Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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