the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
