somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
