so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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