ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Randomize
