ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
