1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
