Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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