woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
the day after is always just damage control
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
is it fun? or sober?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
