Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
